Screaming at a Closed Door

If you are a parent, you probably learn a lot from your children. I feel like years of psychology training could not give me the grand realizations that come from living every day with three precious children. I have a much greater understanding of how God loves us, although I know his love far surpasses the capacity of love we could ever have for another human, even our spouse or children. I now understand how I can lead a life of daily sins, and every morning receiving God's grace. I now understand how God can be filled with disappointment while at the same time filled with compassion.


So, here is what I have learned about doors. Eli loves to cruise through the house. The design of our house is such that Eli can cruise a full circle from living room to kitchen and through the bathroom to come out in the living room and start all over again. He is, by far, the most active of our three children at his age. Thankfully, he sits pretty well through church, plays, concerts, etc., but if we are at home he is not content to sit still. He loves to be on the move, and I love to see him with so much freedom and joy just pacing the floors with random toys in his hand each time he loops back around.


One thing that upsets him is a closed door, particularly the bathroom door. He will stand at the closed bathroom door and scream until he is red in the face. I have tried to distract him with other places to go, toys to play with or a snack. But, he is determined to stand at the door -- screaming -- until that door is opened. All the other other doors are open and available to him, but he only wants the one door that is closed. At last, when the toilet flushes or the shower ceases, the doorknob gently turns and -- PEACE! Eli greets the bathroom patron with a smile and usually a hug and loud, cheerful squeals. I know, I know, you are all wishing that you received this kind of welcome upon completion of your toiletry duties. It is quite endearing in a strange way.


How often am I like Eli, standing at the one door that God has closed, screaming and demanding to be let in? Sure, I do not physically stand and scream, but my heart yearns for my own selfish longings. How often do I miss out on all the other open doors and opportunities because my eyes are fixed on what I cannot have? 


One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


So, I will try to trust that God has great plans for our family, and I will stop standing at the closed door and start exploring the many open doors that lead to greater, unknown places.