Perfect Isn't the Point

I read an article in Thriving Family magazine that I have read and re-read many times. It describes me perfectly, and I wanted to share it with you. I looked online to link to it, but couldn't find it. It was written by Jill Savage, the founder of Hearts at Home. I will be getting a copy of her book No More Perfect Moms!!!!

Perfect Isn't the Point

Looking beyond unrealistic expectations to enjoy the moment

I was putting the finishing touches on the sweet potatoes when I realized that the Jell-O salad I'd made for dinner didn't set. The rolls I'd made from scratch weren't rising, and our youngest son was having a meltdown. Then my husband phoned to let me know he would be home late. My plan for a perfect evening was unraveling.

Many of us long to create the "perfect" family, but more often than not, we fall off the pedestal of our own expectations. We long for quiet, but children are naturally loud. We desire a neat home, but family life inevitably brings clutter.

Too often we set up our husband, our family and ourselves for failure. WE have a fantasy picture in our mind of how our day or an event will unfold. When our expectation doesn't play out, we find ourselves frustrated, disappointed and even angry.

Perfectionism isn't healthy for us or our relationships. It feeds discontent. It fosters judgement. It causes us to compare our insides with other people's outsides.

When we expect our kids to be perfect, we become a controlling mom. When we expect our husband to be perfect, we become a criticizing wife. When we expect ourselves to be perfect, we heap judgement on our failures and become our own worst enemy.

So how do we break the chains of unrealistic expectations? How do we get out from under the pressure of perfectionism? It all starts with grace.

God sees the best in us. His grace frees us from striving. It accepts. It heals. And more important, it equips us to give the gift of grace to others.

Moving from disappointment to grace requires two shifts in perspective. First, we need to shift our perspective from who we think is in control (us) to who is really in control (God). When we trust that God knows what He's doing, we become more flexible, especially when things don't go as we planned.

The other perspective change is this: The moment in which we find ourselves is just as important as the moment we planned to be in. We need to embrace "what is" instead of dwelling on "what could have been." When we allow God to lead and we embrace the moments we're given, our hearts become compassionate and flexible.

A grace-filled mom handles her kids' shortcomings with love. A grace-filled wife allows her husband to make mistakes without holding his failures against him. A grace-filled woman sees herself through God's eyes and resists the temptation to beat herself up when she falls short of perfection. By moving away from unrealistic expectations, we crawl out from under the pressure of perfectionism.

Coming to grips with my unrealistic expectations of a perfect evening, I sat down with my kids to eat our imperfect meal. When my husband got home an hour later, he had dinner as we sat at the table talking together. Then we enjoyed ice cream sundaes with the kids (not a part of my original plan), and the evening was filled with laughter, love and grace.

It Really Works!!!

Most everything that I bake on is at least 15 years old (unless it has been broken and replaced). So, by nature, nothing looks new. Over time and with heavy use, my cookie sheets were looking less than sparkly and new. 

Along comes a Facebook post about how to clean up cookie sheets using common household kitchen items: baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. It's worth a try, and what a difference a little time made!!!

So, if you have dingy baking sheets, here is all you need to revive them!

Kitchen "Miracle" Cleaner
Put 1/4 cup of baking soda in a small glass bowl and add enough hydrogen peroxide to make a paste. Rub it on the dirt/grease/stain. You can use your fingers or a small sponge to work it in. Rinse and prepare to be amazed!!!

Heritage Bookshelf

I needed a bookshelf. My mom had an extra bookshelf. She brought it to me, with the understanding that it is to stay in the family. Why? We grew up with this shelf, but it was painted sea green and black. I never thought much about the shelf. I never saw much value in the shelf, other than it served a purpose -- to hold things. Then my mom explained to me that her dad -- my grandpa whom I loved dearly -- built the shelf out of fruit crates. All of the sudden, the shelf has value because it was hand-constructed by someone dear to me. 

I decided that I loved the bookshelf -- but not the colors my dad had painted it. After a healthy coat of paint we filled it with some of our favorite books. 

The basket on top of the shelf holds our favorite children's magazines, which we read repeatedly. 

The top shelf holds library and reference books that we need for this week of school.

The second shelf holds some puzzles and activities to keep Eli busy at the table while we have lessons.

And the bottom basket holds oversized books that don't fit on the shelf.

What a fun and simple furniture addition that holds special meaning to me.

One thing that I LOVE about the shelf is the verification of my mom's story, although I didn't doubt her story. This is found on the side of the shelf. I intend to paint the words with a contrasting color to make it stand out.
It says:
45 LBS.
PLACERVILLE
FRUIT GROWERS ASS'N.
EL DORADO CALIF

Home School Recess

This is what recess looks like at our home school!!!

Cloverbud Graduation and 4-H Awards

** This is a LATE post. This was part of the 4-H county fair but I didn't have a photo of Emily with her award for the blog.

On Thursday, Megan "graduated" from the Cloverbud program to "real" 4-H. She was recognized with some of the other "graduates" at the awards ceremony on Thursday afternoon. What this really means is that next year we will be scrambling twice as much the week before the fair. Hopefully we will pace ourselves this coming year! I am anxious to see what projects little Miss Megan decides to sign up for and explore!

We didn't know this at the time, but awards are given out at this ceremony. Some are given out for accomplishments throughout the year. Some of the projects have notes on them indicating that they were chosen for a special award. We weren't planning to go to the awards ceremony except that Megan thought it would be neat to go through the "graduation." While we were waiting for the ceremony to start, Matthew read through the program and was surprised to see Emily's name to receive an award for her Animal Science project. The note was on the back of her project, so none of us saw it. What a great surprise! 

Prayer

I do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bear an easy load. I pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock strewn road.

Give me such courage I can scale the highest peaks alone, And transform every stumbling block into a stepping stone.

-- Gale Brook Burket

Hands-on History

I NEVER liked history -- until I became an adult. It was my least favorite subject in school. Now I am fascinated with it. And I want our children to be fascinated with it. So I try to give them hands-on experiences to make history more real, and less boring. 

Replicas of the Nina and Pinta (two of Christopher Colombus' famed exploration ships) were docked at the Keokuk Yacht Club this week. I imagined these boats on the open ocean. I couldn't help hearing teams of loud, grungy, sweaty sailors raising the sails and manually turning the heavy, wooden rudder to maneuver through choppy ocean waters. 

When I asked the girls what they thought of the Nina and Pinta, their reply was exactly what I had been thinking -- they are MUCH smaller than I imagined. They were beautiful ships that took 3 years to hand-craft by 8th generation shipbuilders, who were of Portuguese and Spanish descent. Most everything was made of wood or rope. It was a step back into history worth experiencing!

After touring the ships, we found a park to play at in Keokuk. This park had a beautiful garden area, with an Adopt-a-Bed program. I would love to implement the program at my house so other people can come beautify my flower beds, which didn't get much attention this year!!!!!

Less than 3 weeks after breaking his collarbone, I think it is safe to say that it is completely healed!!!!

This tree was so tempting for Emily and Eli . . .

. . . and Matthew too!

A Day With Christy

We spent a day last week in St. Louis with a sweet friend, Christy. We were excited to see her new house! After a nice lunch at her house, we headed for the zoo, then went to the Gateway Arch and on a horse-drawn carriage ride through historic St. Louis. Thank you, Christy, for your hospitality and company!

Natalie, I wish I could have grabbed this leaf for you from the Butterfly House!

They are so much fun!!!!

I do not know why, but kids were fascinated with the underside of this elephant.
Oh my!!! 

On our way to the top!!

This is Dollar Bill, with her sparkly gold hooves. 

The Classroom is Open!!!

Emily has been asking for school for weeks. Megan has not. We started on August 12, and I admit that I have missed it. What fun!! 

Here is what we are using this year:
Tapestry of Grace is our core curriculum and encompasses history, vocabulary, Bible, geography, literature, grammar, and art.
Singapore is our math curriculum.
Spelling Power is our favorite spelling curriculum.
Write Source will be our writing guide.
Apologia (Astronomy) will be our science study.
Kids of Integrity is our Bible study.
and 
Grandma's FANTASTIC Piano lessons will keep music alive!

Cicadas are Here

Years ago, I realized that Emily and I were quite different. She went to a sweet little tea party at a friend's grandma's house. It was so cute to dress up the girls and drop them off to mingle with and dine with their little friends. I couldn't wait to pick them up and hear all about the dainty treats and playing house with each other. At the appointed time I showed up to pick them up. Emily did NOT have these stories to share with me. Instead, she was so excited to show me her collection of cicada shells that she had found during the afternoon. I think I must've closed my eyes and said a short prayer, that God would give me the patience to foster her love for bugs. I might have prayed that she would outgrow it too. It's just a phase, right?

No, she has not outgrown it. And, although I don't love to hold toads like she does. And I don't like to hold cicada shells. And I am not thrilled to find a spider spinning a web in the dining room, I have appreciated God's amazing creativity and perfect planning that I have noticed by his many creations -- even the ones I don't love. I have learned a lot through her fascination. I have learned that even the dung beetle has a purpose on this earth. God put the earth and all its inhabitants in perfect balance. It's pretty cool. 

So, thank you, Lord, for challenging me through my curious daughter! Your ways ARE perfect!!!

Is Someone Excited for a Bike Ride?

A Full Day of Tanner's -- With Good Friends

Years ago we discovered this fun treasure beneath the wind turbines outside of Speer, IL! It has been a favorite day trip ever since. I love going in the fall and testing all the fresh apples, and bringing home big bags with the intentions of applesauce and apple crisp and apple pies. A few weeks ago we took the trip up to Tanner's with some sweet friends, Ashley and Ryley Johnson. 

It is fun for most of the family -- with a petting zoo and a huge playground. A favorite is always the sand "bin," and on festival days you can catch pony rides and barrel rides. The gift shop is a favorite for the shopper in the family, with everything from fresh fruits and vegetables to dips and baked goods. There are Christmas ornaments and even toys for purchase. And, if you are hungry, you will love the lunches they serve. Delicious!! And the kids' meals come with apple cider and an apple cider doughnut!

Want to check it out for yourself? 

www.tannersorchard.com